


A Smile to Protect

by NyanBerri



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 06:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30135453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyanBerri/pseuds/NyanBerri
Summary: Some odd months have passed since the final battle with Tsubaki, and Shuhei has returned to his relatively normal life. Only now, Shamrock is his roommate, and Sham has been getting more and more clingy as the days go by. Why though? Shuhei has no idea, and neither does Sham. At least, not until he has a sudden epiphany.
Relationships: Shamrock (Servamp)/Tsuyuki Shuuhei
Kudos: 5





	A Smile to Protect

**Author's Note:**

> I started this on Feb 15th and got like, 90% of it done, then stopped. And tonight I have returned to it just to get something done and posted lately and I have too many WIPs, so this takes care of one at least. 
> 
> ........That's all I have to say. I have no comment otherwise. I throw this into the abyss and refuse to look back!

It had only been a few months since life returned to normal. Well, relatively normal. Shuhei certainly felt he was a different person than he was before it all began. And there was even the situation with his new roommate. Vampires were just a part of life now. Of course, they had been there before, but now Shuhei was accepting one into his life. He was accepting them at all, really. It was a nice change of pace, to not be so angry all the time. He wasn't too comfortable saying it out loud, but Shuhei did enjoy this new normal life, even if he didn't quite know what to do now.

Shuhei stood in front of the sink as he washed the dishes. The sound of running water made it hard for him to hear the footsteps that approached him from behind. He barely batted an eye at the feeling of hands gently resting on his shoulders and something pressing against the back of his neck. It startled him multiple times before, but it became such a common occurrence now that he pretty much expected it even when he least expected it. That was when he most expected it actually.

"Do you need something?" Shuhei asked without sounding interested in the answer at all.

He didn't draw even an ounce of his attention away from the dishes in the sink. Not even when the head against his neck started to nuzzle up against him.

"I keep telling you you can let me do the dishes. I don't mind."

Shuhei sighed. "And I keep telling you I'm not going to let you be my butler. You're a friend and I'm an adult, I can do my own dishes."

The hands on his shoulders moved to wrap around his waist. That was new. Well, relatively new. It only started a couple weeks ago. Shuhei didn't really think much of it outside of it being genuinely unexpected. He was used to some people, who shall not go named, getting a little too close and even handsy with him. He would reinforce his personal boundaries, but that would get ignored, so he stopped throwing a fit about it. But this contact, however, was different. He wasn't tolerating it, he perfectly allowed it even if he did question it a bit in his head. He had to admit it felt a bit nice too. He could tell it wasn't trying to invade his space, it was trying to be gentle and comforting.

One hand suddenly gripped at his hip and the other moved up to his chest. Now that was 'new' new. Shuhei finally looked up and glanced over his shoulder at Shamrock. The man's face was completely hidden in the back of Shuhei's sweater. Was something wrong?

"Do you… need blood?" Shuhei asked.

Shamrock's grip tightened ever so slightly.

"No."

"You know I _also_ keep telling you it's okay to ask for blood. Whatever the reason I'll give it to you, I don't mind." Shuhei tried to reassure him.

"That's not it." Shamrock mumbled into Shuhei's back.

"Then what is?" Shuhei questioned.

It fell silent for a moment. The only sound was the running water from the faucet. What _was_ it? What did Shamrock want? He wanted to touch Shuhei and he was, so what more was missing? Something definitely was.

"I just… want to be like this… for a moment." Shamrock muttered.

It was true, but Shamrock was sure it wasn't all of the truth.

"O…kay." Shuhei stared at the man's light hair for a bit before turning his attention back to the sink.

He finished washing the dishes and dried them all off without a hitch, but now there was a problem. He could tell Shamrock was holding him in place. He couldn't move, but he needed to put the dishes away.

"I need to move." He stated.

"Let me do it." Shamrock offered.

"It's fine, I just need to-"

"Let me do _something_. You washed them so I can put them away. It's equal then." Shamrock protested.

Shuhei paused for a moment, then sighed. "Okay, but you still have to let me go."

Shamrock seemed to grip at Shuhei's clothes for a split second before letting go and pulling away from the younger man. Shuhei had to admit he felt a little cold now without Shamrock's warmth pressed against his back. He stepped aside for Shamrock to stand in front of the sink before moving to sit at the dining table. Shamrock wanted to tell him that he didn't have to wait, but it would just end up another back and forth exchange that went nowhere.

Even after the few months that it had been, communication just felt so strange between the two. Shamrock had nowhere to go without Tsubaki, and Shuhei couldn't just leave the man to wander off by himself with no purpose in life. Shamrock was his father's friend after all and Shuhei decided not to lose that. But convincing Shamrock to move in with him was not a decision either of them thought through very well. Not because they were bad roommates, but because neither of them ever knew what to say.

Were they supposed to talk further about things? Were they supposed to ignore it and go on about life as if they had a fresh start? Did Shuhei want to talk about anything? He felt like there was a conversation to be had about Shamrock's clinginess at least. Both of them could manage to not say a word all day, but Shamrock would still follow Shuhei around, stare at him for long periods of time, and get far too into his personal bubble. They really weren't things that bothered Shuhei at all, but an explanation would have been nice. He didn't even really know the man all that well. He was, however, aware of Shamrock's deep loyalty towards Tsubaki. Had that loyalty just transferred to Shuhei? Had Shamrock been that clingy to Tsubaki? Was that just the kind of person Shamrock was? Had Shamrock… been that way towards his father?

Shamrock finished putting the dishes away and Shuhei knew to get up or else Shamrock would just stand beside him waiting for him to do something. He didn't have any paperwork to do since that had finally been finished a few weeks ago. It was why he was even home at all. All of C3 had been so swamped with work of every kind and now that it was all getting wrapped up, people were getting lots of time off. Shuhei didn't really know what to do at home with no work to drown himself in. Errands were done, shopping was done, laundry was done, dishes were done. What was there to do?

He honestly hadn't felt like doing anything. He simply wandered into the living room and sat on the couch, where Shamrock followed right behind him before sitting next to him. At least Shamrock knew to leave a few inches between them. Shuhei turned on the television and the news came on. The reports about the strange weather and weird events happening had finally stopped a month ago. No one figured out the truth, or strings were pulled to keep their mouth shut if they did know something, and so more pressing matters pushed the news away from caring anymore. As such, it was nothing Shuhei was interested in.

"Anything need to be done?" Shamrock asked, breaking the silence between them.

"No." Shuhei plainly responded.

And it was, frankly, agonizing.

Shuhei suddenly got pulled to the side and into Shamrock's arms. Shamrock nuzzled against the side of Shuhei's head while the young man tensed up. That was also completely unexpected. Shamrock had never grabbed him like that before. It wasn't annoying or anything that upset Shuhei, it was just another thing in the pile of actions that were more than usual for Shamrock.

"Are you sure you don't want blood?" Shuhei questioned.

"I'm sure. I just… want to touch." Shamrock whispered.

"You certainly like to do that." Shuhei grumbled more to himself than as a response.

Shamrock's grip felt like it loosened a bit.

"Does it bother you?" He asked, obviously coming off as worried.

"No. I just… don't get why." Shuhei said. "Why do you cling to me so much? It's like you follow me around like a puppy almost."

"Is it… so wrong to care about you?"

"Of course not. But this seems like a bit more than what's normal for caring."

"Would you like me to stop?"

"That's not-" Shuhei groaned and adjusted his glasses. "I don't mind it. I just want to know why you're so clingy is all."

The young man looked up at Shamrock and for a split second he could have sworn it was Yoshimasa he was looking at. Shuhei was his own person though, not Yoshimasa. Shamrock had to remember that. No matter how much their hair or eyes looked alike, the two were completely different people. Shuhei had a unique look in his dark eyes anyway, one that was different from Yoshimasa's. It was almost sad to Shamrock. It was a look that showed no happiness. Even if life was better now, there were still too many things that affected Shuhei for him to have that bright eyed look his father used to have. But it was still a look Shamrock wanted to protect. He wanted to do whatever he could to one day allow Shuhei to develop his own bright eyed look that belonged to Shuhei and Shuhei alone. Maybe that could help Shamrock make up for his actions.

But at the same time, he just thought it would be nice to see. Whether he could truly make up for the past or not, at least seeing a happy look on Shuhei's face would have been enough. To witness Shuhei's eyes light up and have a genuine smile form on the young man's face… it would be beautiful.

Beautiful…?

Is that what Shamrock thought of Shuhei? Was Shuhei beautiful to Shamrock? Well, Yoshimasa did call himself cute back in the day. Apparently that was something Shuhei inherited as well, it just looked a little different on Shuhei compared to Yoshimasa.

Shamrock found himself too enamored with it though. It was like he couldn't even think about how he wanted to respond to Shuhei anymore. He lifted a hand up from Shuhei's hip and placed the tips of his fingers against the young man's cheek. Shuhei's eyes glanced over at Shamrock's hand. His fingers were cold. Shuhei placed one of his own hands over Shamrock's, and the man finally realized what he had done. He pulled his hand away and put it down at his side while looking away from Shuhei.

"Are you… alright?" Shuhei wondered as he gently rubbed his cheek.

Shamrock didn't know how to explain himself. He really didn't intend to do that. Shuhei's cheek just looked so soft, so beautiful. He had to touch it. He had to know how it felt. He didn't consider if it might have been weird or awkward to Shuhei.

"My… apologies, I just…" He trailed off.

He understood now. Shamrock couldn't say it though. How _could_ he say it? How could he admit out loud that he found Shuhei beautiful? That he wanted to protect Shuhei's smile? That he wanted to help bring about a day where Shuhei even had a beautiful smile to protect in the first place? It would probably sound like a-... like a…

Oh no.

Shamrock felt his face burn up and he furrowed his brow. Was it true? Even to him the possibility helped explain his behavior, but what would Yoshimasa think of him for it?

"Hey…" Shuhei's voice gently called out, catching Shamrock's attention. "Whatever you're worried about, it's fine, okay?"

The two men looked at each other. Shuhei then put his arms around Shamrock and leaned his head against the man's chest. Shamrock tensed up before pulling Shuhei a bit closer.

"If it's me you're worried about, I'm okay. So you don't need to hover over me all the time. But it really doesn't bother me, so don't worry about things." Shuhei added.

He didn't think he was doing a good job of reassuring Shamrock. It wasn't something he was used to, but he tried at least. He needed Shamrock to know there was nothing to worry about. Everything was okay, things were better now.

But Shamrock was still worried anyway. Not about Shuhei, but about himself. Shuhei had no idea what Shamrock was really thinking. He didn't need to worry about Shuhei, he was assured of that, but what of his feelings? Could he do something about that? _Should_ he do something about that? What if Shuhei reacted badly? Could he hide it then? But the way Shuhei was so close against him sent his heart into a panic like it had never been in before. He wouldn't be able to handle hiding that forever. It was already hurting so much. He could feel it.

And so, Shamrock again put his hand against Shuhei's cheek. Shuhei looked up at him and again placed his hand over Shamrock's.

"Shuhei…" Shamrock began in a quiet voice. "I can't quite explain it very well… I don't believe I have the vocabulary to do so… but, you mean so much to me. I-I… I don't want to be away from you. I feel most at peace in your company. I… am… devoted to you now. You, and only you. That is what I've decided. But I… didn't decide for that devotion to become more. I think… I think I love you… Shuhei."

Shuhei's eyes widened behind his glasses. He believed he was prepared for anything, but of course that was just what he believed. He honestly never expected anyone to have feelings for him, let alone Shamrock. He never considered that among his list of possible explanations for the man's behavior. But the way Shamrock worded it made it seem like he only recently, or perhaps even just now, discovered that explanation.

"Huh?" Was the only sound that escaped past Shuhei's lips.

Shamrock didn't know how to respond to that. He simply used his other hand to gently take Shuhei's hand away from the young man's face and hold onto it. They both had cold hands. All their warmth must have gone to their faces since they both had a blush spread across their cheeks. Shamrock took a breath in, then sighed as he figured out what else to say.

"I… love you. I love… being close to you. I never want to let go of you because I care about you. Because you mean so much to me. You mean… everything to me."

"But why?!" Shuhei suddenly blurted out, surprising both of them.

Shamrock glanced away from Shuhei for a moment and the younger man furrowed his brow.

"Is it because of my father? Do I still remind you of him? You can't get back whatever relationship you had with him through me, you know! I won't let myself become a replacement for him. I refuse to be a-"

"It's because you're beautiful." Shamrock cut off his protests.

Shuhei froze as his entire face started to burn up. He was… beautiful? Once again he encountered something he couldn't have possibly prepared for.

"Your beauty is your own. I love you for you, Shuhei. It has nothing to do with him." Shamrock continued.

Shuhei felt Shamrock's thumb stroke his cheek and he became overcome with embarrassment. He just received a love confession. He was being so gently caressed and complimented and… loved. He didn't even know if he felt the same way yet, but it all quickly became too much. He didn't want to be looked at. He wanted to disappear and be forgotten about. He just couldn't handle accepting it all at once. Shuhei slowly pushed Shamrock's hand away from his face and covered his face to recompose himself.

Shamrock could only wonder if he made a mistake. Should he not have said anything? Did he upset Shuhei? He probably did. Shuhei let out a sigh and put his hands down. Shamrock suddenly wanted to speak to try to fix things, but he had no idea what to say.

"Is that the truth?" Shuhei questioned.

Shamrock looked confused for a moment before recalling his last words. "Yes, of course it is."

Shuhei tried to fight the tiny smile that wanted to form on his face, but he failed. He didn't even know why he was smiling. If it just happened all on its own, then did that mean he was happy to hear that? He was loved for himself and considered beautiful all on his own. It was somehow enough to make him accept his happiness, and Shuhei's small smile turned into a big one.

Shamrock only stared in awe at it. Shuhei's smile truly was beautiful. And it was exactly what Shamrock wanted to see. Shuhei's smile was his own, and no one else's. Shamrock gently placed both his hands on either side of Shuhei's face and the young man's smile faded slightly to show a hint of confusion.

"M-... May I?" Shamrock requested.

Shuhei wasn't sure right away what Shamrock was asking. It took him a moment before he was struck with realization. They both grew nervous as Shuhei slowly nodded his head. Neither of them moved though, but someone had to. Finally Shamrock felt Shuhei inch closer in his hands and he forced himself to lean in in response.

Their lips met and Shamrock stopped there. It was Shuhei who pressed himself closer to deepen the kiss. Was it something Shuhei really wanted? Shamrock may have asked for permission, but it felt like Shuhei was the one initiating it. Well, Shamrock decided not to question a good thing any further and just enjoyed it as much as he could despite his nervousness.

But on Shuhei's end, the young man didn't know what to think. He had never kissed someone before, so he didn't know what to expect. He couldn't have prepared himself for how nice it felt. It gave him such a warm and fuzzy feeling that made his stomach twist. Or maybe that was the nervousness that was hurting his stomach. He wasn't really sure how to sort out what feelings were what. There was just definitely warmth, and fuzziness, and some kind of sick feeling. Maybe he was _too_ nervous now that he was in the middle of a kiss.

Thankfully Shamrock pulled away, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Shuhei felt a pressure lift off his shoulders before his and Shamrock's eyes met. That pressure suddenly returned tenfold and Shuhei had to look down at the couch. A wave of embarrassment overcame him and his hands almost shook as he tried to adjust his glasses.

He kissed Shamrock. He and Shamrock _kissed_. And Shuhei liked it. It happened just a moment ago and it already felt so surreal. Did it really happen? It was just so hard for Shuhei to believe. Shuhei then buried his face against Shamrock's chest and gripped at the back of the man's clothes. Shuhei held onto him so tightly, so desperately. And Shamrock held him back while placing a light kiss on his head.

"Thank you…" 

"Hm?"

Shamrock wasn't sure what Shuhei was thanking him for.

"For… For finding me beautiful. For loving me."

Shuhei still didn't know if he felt the same way. The idea of having romantic feelings for Shamrock never once crossed his mind, let alone Shamrock having feelings for him. Things took such a sudden sharp turn that Shuhei wasn't ready for. But that didn't mean he didn't accept it. He was happy to be loved and complimented and have Shamrock be devoted to him. He wanted to embrace that. And then maybe one day he would say the same words back to Shamrock, but only time would tell. Those kinds of feelings weren't something Shuhei could just flip a switch to feel on command after all. But he was still happy to be loved, and he could start right now devoting himself to Shamrock.

"Don't leave me."

That was the best Shuhei could say to let Shamrock know his feelings were accepted. And Shamrock was overjoyed to hear it.

"I promise you, Shuhei, that I will never leave you. I will remain by your side for as long as you will allow me. After all, you are… everything to me."

Shuhei let out a sigh, as if he had been holding his breath without realizing it. He looked up at Shamrock, who looked down at him in return. Without a word they both leaned in and kissed for a second time, and somehow neither of them felt nervous anymore. It was like the second kiss truly solidified that there really was nothing to worry about. They were together, and they were happy. And that was all that mattered. The past was in the past and now they were moving forward, to a brighter future together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hm, okay. Reading this again, I.............. have feelings. My heart contains so much love that it is. Overwhelming. Too many thoughts, head full. Heart making everything feel tingly.


End file.
